“ Remember, there are many advantages to being single. Having one or two connections that can be deeper is more important for many than having several more surface-level friendships.” 4) Explore the perks of being single.Īlso, put some effort into exploring all that comes with being single! And capitalize on those opportunities… like putting that time and energy into a pet instead of a romantic relationship, if you’re feeling lonely. Start to build closer friendships and spend time with others who enjoy some of the same things you do and give yourself time to connect. It’ll also help to focus your attention on other connections-romantic relationships aren’t the only ones that matter, you know! “ Humans need connection and in order to connect, we have to practice being vulnerable and sharing our real selves with those we can trust,” Julie Bjelland, licensed marriage and family therapist explains. It may be difficult at first to muster any excitement about those previously-enjoyed activities, but if you can force yourself to engage in those activities (or with those people) even when it’s the last thing you feel like doing, soon enough you will start to find yourself enjoying those activities/people.” 3) Build stronger connections with friends. And make an effort to include more of those in your life if you’re feeling lonely. Think of the activities and people that have brought you joy and enriched your life in the past. “Loneliness comes from feeling isolated and unfulfilled, and often, people who feel lonely get caught up making a habit of doing things that keep those patterns of isolation and loneliness going (such as turning down invitations to go out with friends, etc.). “Engage in activities you know you find enjoyable or rewarding, even if you don’t feel like doing those things at the moment,” says Dominique Talley, mental health therapist, and wellness blogger. “Were they secure or insecure? Did they cause anxiety or a sense of trust and intimacy? If only another person fills the void inside them, they will need to learn how to be enough for themselves or they will never feel secure because they’ll always be afraid of losing someone.” 2) Engage in enjoyable activities.Īnother simple, yet effective tip is to spend time doing what you truly enjoy doing-even if you don’t think you feel up for it. In this case, they will need to reflect on their early attachments,” she explains. “If loneliness is of the deeper, existential kind, it often makes a person feel not only unloved but unlovable and longing for belonging. Karen Koenig, a licensed clinical social worker, suggests looking back at past relationships. And sometimes I still sense them lurking in the balance, but now I know how to resolve them.ĭo you struggle with these same feelings when you’re single? Well, you’re in luck! Not because you’re feeling lonely, but because some mental health professionals are going to help me explain what really works in overcoming these lonely feelings and being happy alone: 1) Reflect on past attachments. I struggled with these feelings off and on for about four years. And those crippling feelings of loneliness creep in real fast. You forget how to be happy without the company of another. You forget that there’s life outside of romance. When you’re with someone for that long, you forget how to live alone. As you can probably imagine, this had some tough implications on my life moving forward without him-the most important being that I didn’t know how to function as a singular entity. In other words, at the age of 18, I had spent a third of my life with someone else. I’ll do the math for you: this relationship took up roughly six years of my life. I entered my first real relationship in the 7th grade (I know-young) and stayed in this relationship until my freshman year of college.
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